The Ninja Battle-Trampoline

You turned a fun family activity into a full-contact combat sport and you have never apologised for it. You dodge, you body-check, you invent rules mid-bounce that exclusively benefit you, and you consider a friend's untied shoelace a valid tactical opening. Feral, fearless, and gloriously exhausting, you are why the sign says 'ONE AT A TIME' — and why nobody ever listens.